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Message from the Grandmothers
December 2006
I journeyed to the Grandmothers to ask about the relationship between
men and women. I had recently seen several couples in my practice
who had become terribly estranged. The women screamed their pain,
berated their husbands, and sobbed at their feelings of helplessness,
while the men sat by stoically—shocked, bewildered and emotionally
shut down. The pain in these sessions was palpable. These couples were
miserable, their marriages were at risk, and their children were acting
out. I had a sense that relationship pain like this was becoming more
common. The chasm of misunderstanding between the sexes seemed to be
growing wider and I wanted guidance from the Grandmothers.
I rose from my tree, held my concentration on the Grandmothers
and asked them to teach me. I was coming before them with a serious
question this time, one that reflected the pain of many people. At last
their valley appeared below me and there they were, standing in a circle
and waiting for me. This time I was once again flying like an eagle,
so I spread my wings wide, began to carefully close them, and landed
right in the middle of their circle. I could feel the strength of my
eagle body as I bowed to the Grandmothers but when I lifted my head to
look at them I was human again. Once again I reminded myself, “This
is non-ordinary reality.
“Grandmothers,” I said, “I’m really concerned
about the relationship now between men and women.” “So
are we,” they said. Today they also were in human
form. “What would you have me pass on to others about this?”
I asked. I noticed that as I spoke my hands had opened, and palms up,
formed the receptive mudra. “Let us fill you,”
the Grandmothers replied, motioning me to sit down on the ground
with them. “Let your body drink in what we are giving
you,” they said. “Oh,” I said, “this
is why I am holding my hands like little cups. “The body
understands,” they said. “In time your mind
will also understand what it is we are giving you, but right now this
understanding is more than your mind can hold.
Abruptly they turned to me. “Receive,”
they said. “An empty vessel can give nothing. Allow
yourself to fill, let your back, buttocks, legs, heart, arms, and
hands fill. Your vibration will change as you open yourself to receive
through your body. Feel the change beginning,” they said,
and when I turned my focus inward I did feel different! I was larger,
more solid, and at the same time, lighter. “Receiving
through the body slows your mind down and enables you to receive more
from us,” they said. Smiling at one another, they spread
their arms wide and said, “From receiving comes more
receiving.” I heard the truth of their words and my body
softened and expanded even more.
Abruptly the Grandmothers said, “You cannot help men.” They
shook their heads. “You cannot relate to men in a healing way,
until you yourself are filled with the energy of yin.” Ah,”
I said. “ This is why I feel so soft and expanded now. This is
the energy of yin.”
“Breathe with us,” they
said. “Breathe in and as you release your breath notice that
everything within you that is ready to leave, simply leaves. It is
as simple as that. Old thoughts, old ideas, memories and stress will
go. That is all there is to it. Breathe in and breathe out,” they
said as their chests rose and fell in rhythm with mine. “Let your
breath synchronize with our breath. We breathe you,” they said;
“God breathes you. Breathe in, then release,” they said
and as I did, I reminded myself that everything that was old within me
was now leaving. This thought was so comforting that my body relaxed
even more. Let this breathing be effortless,” the Grandmothers
reminded me, and it was. Effortless.
They nodded, smiling
all the while and said, “Now turn your attention to us. We are
here in this room with you,” they said, “while at the
same time we are hovering over this room. We are here!” they
cried. “We are everywhere! We stand behind you and in front
of you. To the left and to the right of you. We surround you.
“You are part of the Great Mother,” they said,
“and the Mother is here right now. Let yourself fill with
the energy of the Great Mother” they said. “When you think
of this, each breath you take in enlivens Her presence inside you. We
are at one with the Mother and we are always, always with you. Always
we are with you,” they sang, “behind you, around you,
in front of you. Everywhere. We wait for you to call us,” they
said. “We are here. Always. Experience this now,”
they commanded. I did as they said, and no sooner did I think of the
Great Mother being with me, here and now, than I felt Her. “The
Grandmothers are right,” I said. “She is inside
me. In fact I can’t tell where She lets off and I begin.”
“Let the walls of your small self soften,”
the Grandmothers said, as they gave me a loving smile.
“Let the small self expand into the great Self that you are. This
is who you are,” they said. “This large
Self, the expanded one who goes beyond the limits of your skin, beyond
the limits of your mind and of your experience—this is
who you are.” This, I realized, was what I experienced as
the Great Mother. “You may not remember this later,”
the Grandmothers said, “but this is who
you are.
“Return your focus
to your body,” they said and I felt the weight of my
buttocks touching the floor, the position of my feet, the back of my head
and arch of my neck. “You may sense a vibration,”
they said, “an awakening and expansion inside
you. This is you,” they said. “This is me,” I
thought as I became aware of a throbbing wave-like movement inside me. My
body was humming. “This experience belongs to you,”
the Grandmothers said, nodding their approval. “Own
it. Occupy this big Self now.
“You are great,” they said,
“magnificent! You are much more than you have ever
known. Your nature is joy, greatness and full-heartedness. It is time
for you to experience the container that you are,” they
said. “You are the container that holds love and life. You
are the container that supports everything that lives. Your capacity
is enormous. Feel it!” they said. “Become
aware of yourself,” they repeated and I did!
I was enormous. There was no end to myself.
“This is who you are!” the Grandmothers said,
joy lighting their faces. “Your mind keeps you so busy
with its running here and there, its constant chatter and worry about
everything. Reaching, grabbing, hiding and wanting—all the tricks
of the mind!” they said. “Your mind keeps you
so busy,” they laughed, throwing their heads back,
“that you’ve forgotten who you are. This is who you
are!” they cried. “Feel it now!
The great container,” they said, “the
one who holds and is held. This is you.” Later, as I
listened to the tape I heard myself exhale deeply, blowing stale air
from my lungs.
After a period of silence, the Grandmothers said,
“Resonate to the container and take in this experience so
thoroughly that as you go about your life it will be easy for you to
recall it.” Drawing themselves to their full height
these regal Grandmothers towered over me. “She who
holds,” they said. “She who accepts what
lies before her, who holds it all and is at the same moment held.”
Pausing a moment, they added, “And is
herself HOLDING.” With a question I looked at
them and wordlessly they communicated, “When you embody
the container, you ARE the state of Holding; you bring to life the
consciousness of the one who holds.
My body thrummed with the truth of this statement, but my
mind reeled. “THIS,” I murmured, will take a while to
absorb. Nodding and smiling their understanding, the Grandmothers said,
“Invite in anyone or any thing who comes to your mind
now. Your husband, your son or daughter, a parent, a friend, an enemy, an
idea, a memory—whatever and whoever comes to mind. Then quietly hold
whoever or whatever comes to mind,” they said.
“In the vastness and greatness of the being that you are, you
can do this,” they said, nodding wisely. You are
great enough to hold everything!
“As you go about your life, keep your awareness in
the container that you are,” they reminded me,
“and simply hold whatever comes. Hold it as
a basin holds water, as a planter holds the earth placed there. The
water that falls into a basin does not change the shape or color of the
basin,” they said. “Earth that fills a pot
does not alter the size or shape of the container. The container is;
it simply holds,” they said. “You
simply hold. There is nothing for you to resist or fight against because
in actuality you encompass it all!” they announced as they
spread their arms wide. “It is your nature
to be the container,” they said.
“This is Yin.”
I saw a weaving motion that looked like a figure eight. Energy moved
in and out of the two sides of the figure simultaneously. In and around,
out and around. A rounded infinity symbol, it lay on its side while
energy flowed through it. “What you are seeing now,”
the Grandmothers said, “is a harmonizing of the
feminine and masculine principles of energy.” As I watched,
they added, “This movement originates in the holding
state that you just experienced. It is the power within the container
that allows this rhythmic movement to occur,” they
said. “It’s interesting,” I mused, “that holding
has always seemed like a static action to me—holding doesn’t
do anything. The way my mind looks at it, a container has no
life. It just holds and sits there. But that’s not what
happens,” I said and the Grandmothers nodded in agreement.
I watched as they filled the container one moment with earth, the next
with water. “The container is filled with life,”
they said, “and when you ‘hold’
like this, you create an important vibration.” I saw the
vibration building; energy shimmered as it rose and expanded to fill the
entire container. Then I saw the infinity symbol again. “Oh,”
I exclaimed, “It’s this vibration of holding that creates
that beautiful, rolling movement. But as I bent over to get a closer
look at it, I saw that there were two lines of energy running through
the figure eight at the same time. A double movement.
“This is what happens to yin and yang when yin is in
full supply,” the Grandmothers said, explaining the double
movement. “ These energies then flow and dance together in
an endless looping pattern that you call the infinity symbol. As
they spoke, they folded their arms, rocked back on their heals and beamed
happiness at me. They glowed with joy and their joy was contagious,
because I felt it too. Then I saw the two halves of the figure weaving and
dancing toward and then away from each other. I looked again and it
was my husband and I who were dancing. Happiness lit Roger’s face
as he moved toward me and we danced together. Rolling and circling back
and forth, we seemed to wash over one another in a series of waves. It
was a beautiful thing to behold. “The infinity dance,” I said
to myself, “feels like a movement of light or a movement of pure,
crystalline water.”
I was so happy. Contentedly I gazed into the Grandmothers’
eyes and they said, “We bless you.” Once
again I stood with them and watched the flowing movement of the figure
eight. “We bless you,” they repeated.
“We bless all who do this sacred work. They are purifying their
hearts and their lives will be blessed.” They
paused a moment and then said, “This work is only for
certain ones.”
I bowed to them, a long, slow bow. From now on I would trust that
they, not I, would call the right people to their work. It was only for
certain ones and they would choose them. As I stood before
them with my head bent, blessings began to rain down on me. Light,
warmth and good feeling showered over me. I could have stayed in that
position forever, but once again the drumbeat signaled me to return back
to ordinary reality. I began my journey back, and as I drifted down to
earth I heard them say, “Now you carry this consciousness
within you.”
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